My wagon almost lost a tire yesterday. Thinking back on how much going into today, I would have probably regretted it. I am glad I didn't. In the moment, I guess I can admit I was weak to even think it, and I was numb to any reasoning of why I was doing it. It … Continue reading Wagon

Shower thoughts – epiphany

This morning I had an epyphany. In the past I have been in relationships wher my partner always wanted to have sex and be active where I just could not get to the point of being aroused or interested, it got to where their interest became even more of a turn off. This morning it … Continue reading Shower thoughts – epiphany


Dear Self: Read this when you want a drink

Dear Self, If you're reading this I assume you are struggling because you want a drink.  Maybe you want one because you are stressed.  Maybe you want one because you are happy.  But, either way you are trying to quiet that voice inside your head, the one that says you can, or should, drink.  You … Continue reading Dear Self: Read this when you want a drink

Trying, changes, adjustments & sacrifices

When you continue to hear from the one you love that they worry about you because of habits around your depression you want to listen.  You also are trying to cope in the ways you know best and trying to protect them without hiding, which is in the past the only way you know best. … Continue reading Trying, changes, adjustments & sacrifices

I’m tired, boss.

I'm tired, boss. Not the tired that sleep can cure. Tired of being strong. Tired of always feeling not feeling good enough. Tired of failing. Tired of being broken. Tired and wish it could be squeezed from me. Tired and wish it could be loved in me anyhow. Tired and understanding that it can't and … Continue reading I’m tired, boss.