2020, 24 hours to go

We are almost to 2021, or is it 2020 won? Reflecting on the year there have been alot of life adjustments, the working from home, the social isolation, and so much more.  But, for me personally I wouldn't have changed much more and win at that.  While working from home and the social isolation has …

Trying..

I am trying to psych myself up for tomorrow's gathering. It's hard to do so lately as I know I haven't been myself and having people around to entertain will lead to judgement. I also wasn't part of the decision, but why should I be right? In all honesty I would have gone along with …

This Christmas

Most of you know that Christmas has not been a favorite for 25 years.  25 years ago I OD'd just prior to or maybe it was that day, I don't remember. But I lived. I HAD to earn each gift returning home.  After dad passed I tried to continue on, like his favorite holiday, CHRIST.AS. …

One more day…

More than not, I wish for just one more day with my dad. I would take a thousand pictures of us together to have as memories. One more day to tell him how loved he was and what a great man he is. If I could just talk to him one more time. I still …

Holiday Season

To all my friends and family, The holidays are not always easy for everyone, we never know what someone is truly going through especially during the holidays. Someone may be missing a family member or friend, someone may be fighting seasonal blues and lets not forget to mention this year alone has been a beast. …

Just a touch

They lay together side by side. Her head on his chest as she listens to his heart beat. His arm under her head as his hand rests on her side. There is no other place she would rather be than in his embrace. It is in these moments when all of her worry, all of …

Scared..

I am trying to stay positive, I am trying not to lose my shit. I got a call this morning from my mom asking for prayers. Her temp was almost 103, body aches and the only smell was as if her nose hairs were burning. With her no longer having a thyroid, due to cancer, …

Deck the halls with melancholy….

Some days are easier than other, wake up and run the day before it runs me.  I have started getting up and showing and getting dressed at 415 am instead of waiting until my lunch break.  Trying to do my hair everyday as if I have a purpose.  To look beautiful.  To take on the …

Meh..

So, what I would give to just be an the broader side of 'normal'. I am tired. Tired of meds, tired of the side effects and just plain tired. Now the doctor wants me to do a consult to get approved for TMS. With my chemical imbalance and chronic depression things work for a while …

Sometimes I wonder..

Sometimes I wonder, and sometimes I wander.. the later part usually means I am lost or geocaching.. haha. But I feel like certain people are embarrassed by me. Embarrassed by my words, by things I write or say, or even do. I do nothing but be myself. I love hard and deep. I have a …

I survived the TP shortage…

As we end the year, or close enough to it, I will write this now as I have enough TP till 2021. 2020 has been quite a year. We've had Covid and all the scares to go with it. Toilet paper shortages, flour and sugar shortages, Frozen pizza shortages, and a second wind of paper …

December 6, 2017

You think you know love,, you think you have found a love only good enough for YOU that is all you deserve. Then the unthinkable happens a a real true love finds you in life and it is nothing like you imagined. As we near the 3 year mark since Matt and I started dating, …