not a post I want to make…

but maybe if I write and talk to it, it will leave again.  The punisher, I tried so hard to keep him away.. I over did it even by walking 3miles but work has me so backed up that yesterday I hit overtime.  Having a heart sucks, my ex is back at it to please …

The fuse was a dud

The last few nights all I can do is cry. And really not pinpoint. Usually I cry if Im pissed. , but its not the case. Its opposite. Im pissed because Im crying. I wrote and vented a lot last night between 3 blogs. A lot on my mind. Things I should be stronger Over. …

Ticking Bomb #3

The drinker with a writting problem has a ind of a ticking bomb on a roller coaster, I mean who thinks up these things all at one time, none even related. Don't worry I will put out the fuse after this.  So first it was a talk of health, then it was a talk of …

Bombs Ticking #2

My highlights and feel goods right now ae being able to sit and help the Jaycees build a webpage, donate, a pack of cokes, Spreed the word. Its about all I can do.. sit here at a computer and just do.  They are very grateful for it and if they had known what was going …

Bombs Ticking #1

So here I am.. The drinker with a writing problem.  And a mind that in the last 36 hours keeps ticking.  I feel Crazy.. Not in the silly fun, make you laugh kind of crazy either. So, as much as I try not to talk about the bad going on with me, sometimes I have to. …

When its time to say no

I am part of two groups for abuse and narcissim. Listening for days. Relating so this was written for the group. He expects be to believe him, when every word is a lie. He expects forgiveness, He expects her to try. His games she was blinded She believed him before. He give her promises of …

Changes .. very long..

Sorry it's so long, if you make it to the end, congrats. Slowly my ticking bomb mind and sense to write returns. Well, its been a while since I have had somewhere to go thats 'safe' to write about things after a therapy session. There for a while, I shut everything off in me so …

Define Your Happiness

Define Your Happiness.

Be strong for yourself

Sometimes you have to be strong for yourself. You have to know that you’re a good person and a good friend. What’s meant to be will end up good and what’s not- won’t. Love is worth fighting for, but sometimes you can’t be the only one fighting. At times, people need to fight for you. …

All or nothing

Life is to short for the "what-if's" "could have", "should have," the "would have's" and regrets. Your destiny is in your journey of life, grab it and run with it. Look forward, not backwards. Where ever you are is where you were meant to be, good and bad. The bad to show you strength, the …

Tomorrow is a new day

Just one if those days that I have not had in a long time. The attack of the dreaded depression. Things are stressful, I have spent the last 5 days in worse pain than ever and I just want to lay in bed and not face anything or anyone. Maybe its a combination of things. …

Gotta have faith..

There are very few who have access here. If you so, it means I trust you with my thoughts and that I wont be judges for thing like this. I won't lie, they haven't been the best and I haven't been the strongest mentally. That road I was down in August does try to come …

Summer days, Summer Nights… GeoWHA?

Now that summers here I think of all my crazy geocaching adventures in 100+ temps. Like the waterfall near San Saba, had to walk a good 2.5 - 3 miles in what seemed like a desert of dirts and rocks with no shade, but then you got to the clearest water I have ever seen. …

I forgive you, and I forgive myself

I had this on my old blog, but it never gets old to read. Its all perfect, and makes perfect sense. "I forgive you, and I forgive myself" Without forgiving the past you tend to remain in the past, pondering it, thinking of it. Forgiveness is not a sign of weakness, nor does it make …

The calling..

(A poem I wrote for the abuse page I run...) She lays alone in the dark, The AC the only sound. Its the feeling she has Even when he's was around. In the same room but The space seems miles apart. Backs turned to each other, She feels her pounding heart. She lays cold and …