Edgy and irritable

Maybe its the depression, maybe its life, maybe ita just me. I'm edgy and irritable, anxious and everything is hurting me emotionally and mentally. Why do I have to live this way? Ehy can't I be better? Why can't my meds work? What have I done ao wrong in life to have to live thus … Continue reading Edgy and irritable

Overloaded and alone

This therapist vot more out of me in an bour than 5 weeks of group.Do you remember me telling you the reaccurring dream I had where dad was with me staring down at me on an operating table and was half way between there and heaven.  I explained that to her.. she said that was … Continue reading Overloaded and alone

I Don’t Always Want to Die

Reading over my discharge papers. AXIS I: MAJOR DEPRESSIVE DISORDER RECURRENT, SEVERE.AXIS IV: SOCIAL ENVIRONMENTS, SUPPORT AXIS V: 50 Recurrent Major Depression: I Don’t Always Want to Die One of the most horrific aspects of major depressive disorder is the severe stages of it, when the pain is most unbearable and so intense that a … Continue reading I Don’t Always Want to Die

I forgive, but I don’t trust

I forgive people, but that doesn’t mean I trust them.  I just don’t have time to hate people who hurt me, because I’m too busy loving people who love me.  The first to apologize is the bravest.  The first to forgive is the strongest.  The first to move forward is the happiest.  Be brave.  Be … Continue reading I forgive, but I don’t trust

Unhappiness

Im more and more frusterated each day, depression and anxiety have such a hold on me.. living with constant anxiety and having to take pills every day sometimes several hours a day. I WANT to just cry but cant tell myself its okay. So ai sleep alot. LAST night resorting to alot of alcohol just … Continue reading Unhappiness

Finding hobbies and trends is hard.

So a friend and I are talking about therapy she's gonna start going.. so I told her when I go to mine thursday I plan on showing up drunk and telling her all about my purple unicorn and flying monkies. then I be going to places saying my names dana and I'm supposedly an alcoholic … Continue reading Finding hobbies and trends is hard.

Let me out, set me free

I need out of so many things in life, depression, people, things. I spent 18 hours in bed couldnt get out of the depression that took over.  Alone. Now I sit here alone telling myself to go - get out - go for a drive like I used to, go to the cemetary, do solitary … Continue reading Let me out, set me free

Bad depressive episode

Hello me, It was nice spending the day in bed with you from approximately 230 pm yesterday to 830 this morning. But that's not healthy and some major isolation and depression. You haven't even fed me since noon on thursday.  When are you gonna get us back? Now its time to get off your ass … Continue reading Bad depressive episode

Controlling and ruining my life

I feel like this depression is controlling and ruining my life. Looking back, even to my last relationship ONE of many reasons I left is because I knew I was getting much worse without treatment, didnt have time to.. and I couldnt let those I loved so deeply slowly see me die. My health is … Continue reading Controlling and ruining my life