YoU dont know how it feels…

Im always the first to be hard on myself.. not through words of hate but just through thoughts of failing... I have decided to call this my illness of depression.. my alter ego. Do you know how it feels to not want to get out of bed.. to force yourself to get up.. shower.. clean.. … Continue reading YoU dont know how it feels…

Help failed me.. I failed me.. beating myself up.

A failed attempt to get better that slipped me further back. I left AMA last night.. I let go of my ego and pride the littl e I had left and took myself as I got worse... I went in for an assesment per my Doctor, for a second opinion on my diagnosis.¬† Once in … Continue reading Help failed me.. I failed me.. beating myself up.

‘Scared to death

Scared shitless but what about to do is only rational unselfish choice..I feel ao defecti ce, damaged and unhuman. embarrased, ashamed, feel guilty and hopeless. I Know and hear there is no reason I need to feel that way or be sorry ūüė¶ pray for something good.. I dont want to do this but cant … Continue reading ‘Scared to death

Depression fallouts: The impact on couples

Love and depression speak different languages. Every man and woman in a relationship touched by depression comes face to face with this unpleasant truth.What is depression fallout?Although each believes that he or she is living through a unique situation, the behavior of both parties conforms to a predictable pattern.One participant acts according to the dictates … Continue reading Depression fallouts: The impact on couples

Failure

Jillian Conley Failure is the first step to success.¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†¬†Anne Baxter I wasn't afraid to fail. Something good always comes out of failure.¬†¬†Brian G. Jett There is a vast difference between feeling like a failure, and actually being one.Malcolm Forbes Failure is success if we learn from it.Unknown Author One who makes no mistakes never makes … Continue reading Failure

Crashing around me..

As the song goes "The tears dont fall, they crash around me" Ive written most of the day its what I do.... I can sit not blink or even when I close my eyes, they fall.. Im tired of this battle.. how does someone take 7 pills in the morning and 5 at night and … Continue reading Crashing around me..

I am strong woman with broken wings

I am a strong woman with broken wings I wonder if there will come a time I won't be broken I see¬†the happiness in past and¬†present I want to be understood and accepted for the real me I am¬†woman with broken wings I pretend the best I can to carry a smile when down I … Continue reading I am strong woman with broken wings

I forgive you , and I forgive myself.

  Forgiveness is letting go of the pain and accepting what has happened because it will not change.   Forgiveness is dismissing the blame. Choices were made that caused the hurt; we each could have chosen differently, but we didn't.   Forgiveness is looking at the pain , learning the lessons it has produced , … Continue reading I forgive you , and I forgive myself.

Depression’s Arms

I can see Depression, He's off in the distance calling for me with open arms wanting me to come I try to resist as much as I can but He's signing the hypnatizing song A song that I heard several times and can never resist, no matter what ... Finally came in my Depression's arms … Continue reading Depression’s Arms

Sleep

When all I wanna do is sleep that was my dads always sure sign I was getting depressed... Its one extreme to the next weeks of insomnia or this.. . so last night after hospital I went home made homemade french fries and breaded hot wings.. by 7 I was asleep on the couch, at … Continue reading Sleep